I had the privilege of speaking at a conference last Fall in Orlando. It was going to be a busy day for me. In addition to my work duties, it was also the first Sunday of the NFL season. Back then, I was a little younger and a bit more naïve. I just knew this was going to be the year my Indianapolis Colts made it back to the Superbowl. My schedule was flawlessly mapped out. I would speak from 10:30 to 12:30, then make my way through the exhibit hall on this beautiful Disney property, to the sports bar to watch my Colts obliterate the Houston Texans. And my old college buddy, who is now a Floridian, was meeting me. His name is Scott Evans. And he’s one of the best dudes ever. If you want to learn more about him, scroll back to an old blog of mine from 2013 aptly titled, Best Ever!
I knew I was in trouble as soon as I arrived at the resort bar. It was packed. The gentleman in front of me was talking to the hostess. I overheard her telling him that they were at capacity and were not seating anyone else at this time. He became belligerent and disrespectful, to the point that hotel security escorted him away. I was next in line, with the same question he had, now expecting the same answer. I also knew this was the only way I was going to get to watch the Colts. So, I decided to implement one of my favorite leadership acronyms. TEASE. Try, Empathize, Ask, Suggest, and Encourage.
You’ve probably heard the adage, all great feats start with a decision to try. I knew this was a longshot, but I had to at least give it the Try. I may embarrass myself, but at least I’d know I’d have exhausted my only option. I stepped to the hostess, who immediately let me know there was no seating at this time. I smiled back. I was already committed. Now it was time to Empathize. “I’m sorry you had to deal with that last guy,” I said. “Nobody should talk to anyone that way.” She smiled back. “Thank you,” she responded. “I know you guys are busy and I certainly don’t want to want to make your job harder, but….” I then went straight for the Ask. “Is there anything you could possibly do to seat me? This is the only way I’ll get to see my team play today.”
She smiled back even bigger this time. Yes! I had made a connection. I was on my way to see my Colts take care of business. I took a step forward and she held out her hand. Her smile now gone. “Sorry. Nothing we can do. Like I said before, we’re full.” Now a line was forming behind me, and I knew my time to plead my case was fleeting. I had to kick things up a notch and go straight to Suggest mode. I quickly surveyed the bar area and noticed there was a corner of the restaurant separated by velvet ropes. And it was empty! “What about that corner area?” I asked. “That’s our VIP lounge. People can reserve it ahead of time. It comes with its own server. But today we’re short-staffed and don’t have anyone to cover that section. “May I reserve that area and forgo a private server?” I asked. She thought for a moment. “I guess. But that means you’ll have to go to the bar to place your orders.” I noticed that bar was a whopping twenty feet from the VIP section. “No problem,” I answered.
“Okay,” she said. “It’s all yours.” And just like that, I got to watch my Colts play to an underwhelming tie. But I got to do it stretched out on a private couch, watching my own big screen TV, with one of my best friends. The last piece of the acronym is Encourage. And it’s my favorite piece as well. When the game was over, I found the hostess and thanked her once more. I let her know that her outside the box thinking and on the spot decision making really brightened my day. By doing this, the hope is that she would look for alternate solutions for others in the future.
I have used TEASE a lot in my life. It doesn’t always work, but it is always worth the try. Stakes were very low in example, but I’ve used it before in other, more high-profile situations, and it typically moves both parties to a more mutually acceptable outcome. Try, Empathize, Ask, Suggest, and Encourage. Here’s hoping you can TEASE your way to success in the future. Thanks for reading!
Thanks Jay! Another good life lesson !
Della: Thanks for reading!
Anytime you can empathize with and encourage someone I think you will make a connection.
Good life lesson!
Denise: Agreed! Thanks for reading!
Ask for what you want!! Love it!
Dan: I know you practice this as well! Thanks for reading!
Thanks Jay! I needed this today!
Chris: Thanks for reading!
Now that TEASE may just work for this big old bald dude…. Great stuff Jay …I see this being in the ‘engagement toolbox ‘ for sure. thank you
Keith: Thanks for reading!
Way to work it! Skills!
Commish: Thanks for reading!
Brillant Jay! Love this different approaches to difficult situations.
Dave: Thanks for reading!