Although I stand by my statement that the 1980’s made up the greatest decade of all time, I’ll be the first to admit I had my share of moments of which I wish I could have taken a mulligan. The story I’m about to share is near the top of that list. In the mid-80’s, skateboarding became en vogue in a big way. I honestly can’t remember if it was Michael J. Fox skating around the streets of Hill Valley in Back to the Future that made this phenomenon so cool or if the fad had already taken off, but either way it was definitely the cool thing to do at the time.
And I’m all about appearing to be cool. Emphasis on the phrase ‘appearing to be’. I had to get in on this trend somehow. But first I would need a skateboard. I found the one I wanted and begged my parents to buy it for me. They didn’t come right out and purchase it, but they did give me the opportunity to do more chores around the house and earn extra money to buy one. And I did just that. Not since I had to save up for my very own Castle Greyskull playset years earlier had I put in this much effort. And unlike Castle Greyskull, this purchase was guaranteed to make me look like one of the popular kids.
After a few months of mowing, washing cars and stealing change out of my sister’s room, I finally had enough money. My dad took me to the skate shop (yes…these were real stores in the 80’s) and I picked out my very own board. It was a multi-colored Agent Orange brand skateboard and it was magnificent. Now that I had the hardware, the last step in this process was to look the look. I laced up my Chuck Taylors, slipped on my most flamboyant pair of Jams, broke out my baggiest novelty t-shirt and then did something my dad hasn’t forgiven me for to this day. I shaved off my sideburns. Well…I didn’t just shave off my sideburns. I may have shaved an inch or two above my sideburns and then back a few inches above my ears too. But in my defense…this was the kind of haircut that the rad skaters were sporting.
So now that I had the skateboard and the look, it was time to hang out with my new crowd. I found the nearest half-pipe where all the neighborhood skaters congregated and made my grand entrance. And they welcomed me as one of their own! It was fantastic. I made the transition from obscurity to skater and it was seamless. Until it came time for me to take my turn on the half-pipe. For those of you who may not know what a half-pipe is, it’s a monstrous wooden U that skaters ‘drop into’ and roll back and forth from one end to the other while ‘catching air’ at the top of each ramp and performing tricks while air bound. It’s very fun to watch. And very intimidating to try.
When it was my turn to show off my sick skills, I froze. I told my new friends that my board wasn’t ‘broken in’ enough for me to skate that day. A board not being ‘broken in’ makes no sense. And they knew that. And sadly, so did I. But it’s the first thing that popped into my head to save myself from a gruesome death. That’s the exact moment that I was dubbed with a skating term known as ‘poser’.
The definition of poser is as follows: Someone who looks like a skater, or who claims to be one, but who doesn’t know anything about skating. This term can be pretty hurtful, so don’t use it lightly. And it’s tough to know if someone truly IS a poser.
That definition summed me up completely, except for the ending statement. It wasn’t tough at all to know that I was truly a poser. In fact, it was as obvious as it gets. It turns out I actually had zero interest in skating. It looked way too dangerous for me. I just wanted to look the part and get credit for being a skater without actually doing any of the work that went along with it. I thought about this over the next few weeks as I waited for my hair to grow back. Yes, I was humiliated and embarrassed, but this scene was worth it for the lesson I learned and still carry with me today.
Simply put…don’t be a poser. When you find something you want to be involved in, be involved in it. Be all in. Take it from me, it doesn’t matter how much we try to ‘talk the talk,’ if we don’t ‘walk the walk’ people will know. And worse than that, we will know. And being fake is never a good feeling. If there is something you want to do or be a part of, put in the work and enjoy the process. If you’re not willing to do that, find something else that better suits you. Be the best at whatever you decide to be. Just don’t be a poser. Or shave the sides of your head.
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