I received a rude and unexpected awakening last night as I introduced my children to the family-friendly Christmas movie…Die Hard. (yes…Angie was out of town)  After the show ended, I asked Kayla and Tyler the obvious rhetorical question that any father would ask:  “Don’t I remind you of John McClane?”

I consider this a rhetorical question because what dad doesn’t believe he’s viewed as a hero through his children’s eyes?  Fighting the bad guys, protecting the innocent, saving the day!  These are the attributes that make up a great dad, right?  I honestly thought my kids would whole-heartedly agree that I was as tough, smart and ruggedly-handsome as Bruce Willis’ iconic character.  As usual, I was wrong.

And they weren’t even polite about it.  “I don’t see that at all,” replied Tyler.  Kayla just laughed.  But that wasn’t the worst part.  They weren’t finished.  They were quick to let me know that although they didn’t see any similarities between myself and John McClane, I did remind them of another character from the movie: Al.  You remember Al, don’t you?  The bumbling, easy-going beat cop who was the first to respond to Nakatomi Plaza.  The fun-loving friend who cracked jokes over the radio with John.  The guy who kept stuffing his face with Twinkies.  According to my children…that’s me.

Now I do love a good Twinkie now and then, but in my mind, all similarities end there.  So, after hearing their responses, I did what any good father would do.  I pressed the issue.  “What do you mean, you can’t picture me as a hero?  How do you not see me righting wrongs or thwarting evil plans?”

“What have you ever done to make us think about you like that?” asked Kayla.  (Ouch!)  “We just know you as a Dad that tries to be funny all the time.”  (Notice the key word here is ‘tries’)  “That’s why you remind us of Al.”

In my mind, I’m Super Dad.  In my kid’s minds, I’m apparently weak comic relief.  This is troubling.  Not troubling because in real life I would have a zero chance of surviving a hostile takeover, much less eliminating any bad guys along the way.  But troubling, because I’m possibly bringing too much of my work home.  Maybe I’m acting too much like a teacher or a speaker and not acting enough like a dad.  We all know that role takes more of a straight man and less of a comedian at times.

Too often, I’ve been guilty of only seeing what I want to see and only believing what I want to believe, despite what circumstances or other opinions dictate.  This is one of the reasons that I used to hate comment cards or exit interviews being given once I had conducted a writing workshop or delivered a speech.  And don’t even get me started on book reviews.  In my mind, I wanted to believe that everything I did or tried was well received and there was no room for improvement.  But that’s simply not the case.  It never has been and it never will be.  Not everyone will view us the way we view ourselves and there is always room for improvement.

Acclaimed author, John Maxwell, shares the theory that behind every review or critique, no matter how harsh we perceive it to be, is some nugget of truth that we can take away from it.   That’s why these health checks are not only good for us, but also necessary.  They help us to see not who we think we are, but who others perceive us to be.  And perception is reality.

This was a wake up call for me.  I’m going to try to start acting more like a dad and less like Al the Cop.  And I can take comfort in the fact that it’s never too late to change someone’s perception of you.  And I can also take comfort in the fact that my kids did not choose to compare me to Hans Gruber.