Welcome to the latest installment of my blog series, Memoirs of an Empty Nester. Both our kids are off at college, so I decided to take time and share the missteps I’ve made while learning to date my wife all over again. This week’s lesson has to do with parity, along with making those you love, to feel just that…loved.
A short while ago, I had the opportunity to go visit my kids. They both attend the same school so that makes seeing them both a lot easier. I had a fantastic time during my last visit and was just as excited to tell Angie all about my time with our kids when I returned home.
I told her about how Kayla wanted to go to Seaquest, a nearby attraction where you get to see exotic animals and even feed them. I paid an astronomical price for three tickets and then almost maxed out a credit card on feeding pellets to give to the capybara. Kayla had such a great time that I ended up buying her a season pass before we left. Thank you, Home Equity Line! From there, we all went to the movies. Unfortunately, it was not during the day and matinee prices eluded us. But hey…the kids are worth it! Of course you can’t go to the movies without buying popcorn and drinks. “Give us the largest bucket you have, my good man,” I shouted to the teenager working behind the lobby counter. “And three large sodas!” Sure, I’d have to sell a few more books this month, but making my kids happy is totally worth it.
After the movie, it was time for dinner. I took Kayla and Tyler out to Mellow Mushroom. They couldn’t agree on which pizza we should order, so I made the “cool dad” executive decision. One large pizza of their choosing for each kid. Whatever we didn’t eat, they could take back to their apartment or dorm. Although we were all stuffed by the end of the meal, what kind of dad would I be if I neglected to order dessert? I ordered dessert and it ended up in each kid’s doggy bag. I dropped the kids off at their respective home-away-from homes and then crashed in my hotel room. The next morning, I took both kids to an elaborate breakfast and then to the campus bookstore to buy anything their hearts desired. Neither wanted anything, but I still scored points for the offer!
After sharing this story with my wife, I expected her to verbally validate what a great dad I was. Long story short…I’m still waiting. After I stopped talking, Angie calmly reminded me that the last time she and I went out to dinner, she suggested we split an appetizer. I told her that was too much money to spend. Just the meals would be enough for us. Upon hearing this recap (and the tone in which Angie delivered it) I felt two feet tall. It was a very convicting moment. I love all my family the same. I just wasn’t showing them in the same way. Just because I was missing some of them was no excuse to play favorites. Whether it’s your time, your talents, or your treasures, share them all extravagantly with the ones you love.
Sidebar: A few weeks after my trip, I asked Kayla and Tyler what their favorite part of my visit was. They both said the laughter. It’s the moments we share with our loved ones, not the material gifts we buy them, that matter. Now excuse me while I go make my credit card payment.
Sidebar II: I’ve promised Angie that the next time we eat out, she can order an appetizer AND dessert! Who’s the best husband in the world now?
That’s not trying to be a great husband……. That’s survival !!
Wise words from a wise friend!
Should have brought Angie the doggy bag and let the kids suffer college cafeteria food like we had to!!!
You’re always the angel on my shoulder giving me sound advice!
Next time, bring home the Capybara as a new pet for Angie. They are the coolest animals on the planet and that should score you some major points. You’re welcome!!!
How can I ever turn down advice from the man that introduced me to Teen Night in the 80s?