After an enjoyable season of Middle School football (broken hand and all), my 7th grade son decided he wanted to join the wrestling team after football ended. He had never wrestled before unless you count the WWE moves we practiced on each other in the basement. And most of those matches ended in a double-disqualification when my wife caught us and stopped the matches early. Anyway, I was proud of Tyler for wanting to try something new and encouraged him one hundred percent.

In his very first match, he wrestled his opponent to a draw. I was extremely happy for Tyler and proud of him for the effort that he put forth. Little did either one of us know that his wrestling season peaked that night. He would go on to wrestle several other matches in the coming months. And he would proceed to lose every single one of them. He had great coaches and supportive teammates. He just came up short each time he stepped on to the mat.

At one point I suggested he hide some brass knuckles in his singlet to use at the right moment…just like the ‘pros’ do. He laughed and told me he would get better by working harder. The kid definitely gets his wisdom from his mom. So Tyler continued to work harder in practice each day. Sometimes he would even come home from practice, eat dinner, and then work out again. But by the end of the season, he was never able to find that elusive win.

After his last outing, I took him out to Buffalo Wild Wings. As we bonded over sports and wings, I told him that even though the season was somewhat disappointing for him, I was proud of him for sticking with it and giving it his all each and every day. I’ll never forget him looking back at me with BBQ sauce on his face and telling me, “It wasn’t disappointing for me.” If I’m being honest, I wasn’t quite sure how to respond to this. And then he continued.

“Sure, I wish I would have won a few matches, but I joined the wrestling team to stay in shape for football season next year. And I have. I actually think I’m in better shape than I was three months ago. So maybe I’m a little disappointed in myself, but not the season. This is exactly what I wanted from it.”

And there you have it. What I perceived as a huge loss for my son, he viewed as a colossal win. He continued to get into better shape for next year’s football season. I was too busy looking at the day-to-day minutia of his commitment and each loss being a brutal setback, that I lost sight of the big picture for which he was striving. Whether he won, lost, or tied, he was in the wrestling room five days a week working his butt off, getting stronger and more physical. He had a long-term goal and he stuck to it, no matter how uncomfortable it became along the way.

And I found myself, as I often do, learning a lesson from my son. Too many times I get bogged down in the every-day grind of life and I lose sight of what my ultimate goals are. When I refocus my attention to my long-term goals, I’ll recognize that my day-to-day setbacks are really helping to prop me up for long-term success.

I sincerely hope you’re more disciplined than I am when it comes to this, but if you’ve fallen into this trap lately, step back and take a broader look at where you are and where you want to go. My guess is that you will realize two things: You are further ahead in your journey than you give yourself credit for and that the small ‘losses’ we encounter in our daily activities help shape us to be better prepared for the ‘wins’ that we are chasing.

Tyler is now looking forward to joining his school’s track team, another sport in which he’s never participated. But he knows (and now I realize) that even if he finishes last in every race he runs, he will be in better shape to start all of the summer football camps for which he already registered.

Remember, it’s important to strive for wins on a daily basis, but these contests don’t ultimately define who we are. We will be defined by how we use them.